God is Sending Me A Husband

So I have been thinking a lot on the “strong man” God said he is going to send me. I joined this dating site and I really like one of the guys on there, gave him my number but he never got back with me. I didn’t know if he was a believer, but found out from FB stalking him that he was. I got excited thinking maybe he is the one, but he never called. I came across a video that said “The man God has for you will pursure YOU!” Well I almost pursued him several times, but something held me back. Not like me to not pursue what I want lol So today, I read a few articles of women who heard God say “He’s your husband” and I started seeing similarities in what God has been saying to me. First, I kept seeing the word “prepare”, so these women said they had to prepare in waiting. I also felt God telling me to wait on him, he is writing my love story just like these girls. These girls also were like me in that they told other guys they wanted to wait for their husband and they asked God for the one he has. Also, I wanted to grow spiritually with a man God had for me and do God’s work together. Also, these women said the same things. These girls had men just showing up like me out of the blue that were def not from God in that they did not want to wait for sex. I have had to tell a few guys …no I am waiting for my future husband. Poof they disappeared. I know God is working on this, because every time I ask God questions, I get them answered almost instantly. God what do you mean by a strong man? Then I see on the back of a truck “As strong as an ox” and today I see it again in a magazine. God who is he…”someone special” I also am not so sure this guy on this dating site is not the one, because these women said when God told them who their husband was…he did not tell the guy yet. I am not sure if he is the one. Could just be he is a good hearted man according to his activities in visiting hospital for cancer patients etc.., so I won’t go assuming until God reveals it to me and him. However, God showed me he alone is my husband first and he will give some of his love to the chosen man he has for me. That was comforting to hear, because as I read the scriptures “The lord is your husband” I always wondered how is that possible if I have a husband. I have stopped pursuing men on dating sites now and if God say’s he has someone I will trust him and his timing. I know it will be more special and God will be a part of it and that is more important then making the choice myself and ending in failure and pain again. Now, the part you don’t often see is the struggle is real behind the scenes. I am saying… God, this does not pertain to me because I was already married and divorced. God, I have been through so much, no way a guy can deal with me now. God, how can my son’s ever accept another man and this isn’t fair because they are not his son’s. God, I don’t feel worthy, or even act remotely how I feel I should and my living situation…who would ever be with me like this. I feel in my heart though, God is saying he will give back all that was taken and destroyed bc I was faithful in my marriage and to him. I asked for God’s hand in the second one and willing to wait and listen to his direction. The first time around I thought I was doing the right thing, so I really feel God understands I had no clue it was not from him. I was not strong enough spiritually then to hear his direction like I am now. Though now it’s with a lot more pain and brokenness. Yet, I have to say even with my disbelief I will ever be able to love again with so much brokenness, I am happy I can see him helping me this time. It’s all for God’s glory, so it doesn’t matter how i feel anyways.